Welcome Back To Hell

Yes, I have tasted Death again.
Riding on a chemical wave,
rushing toward nothingness
seeking the impossible,
and taunting the keeper of the book.

I beg forgiveness, but from whom?
Do I really care?
Is the thrill of the game
too strong,
is the price I pay
not to play
too high?

What do I know.
Adrenaline surging
blocking my thoughts..
hear that peace?
Unreachable.
And this is only
the morning after,
when just traces of insanity
remain.

How I love the enemy!
Surround me with your lies!
Let my inhale your false dreams!
Please -
throw me to the ground once more,
and then trample on my mind!
Yes,
lead me by the heart
to the very edge
of existence.

Tired...
of the search for stability.
of crying for strength.
of nightmares that become reality.
of longing that soothes my morbid mind.
of myself.

Reaching for another taste.
Anxiety so strong
it nearly brings
unconsciousness...
Fear blended with desire.
Hate and love and dreams and nightmares,
cut together
in fine sweet lines.
Yes,
inhale
deeply
the Death

My enemy,
my lover.
The beginning
of my end.

© 1998 Barry Veinotte

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